I came across this post a few years back and I think it’s a just a crazy thought:
At some point in your childhood, your mom picked you up and put you down, and never picked you up again.
I am reminded of this because today is my last day of unemployment. At least for the near future, my days will be scheduled, my hours counted, and my performance measured. For the sake of constant learning and building passion, by tomorrow, I will be giving up full control of much of my time. That’s 24/7 control gone.
So yesterday, Pat asked me what I wanted to do on my last day. I said “I wanna write,” which is what I’m doing now as I write this. But as I was thinking about my reply, I was tempted to look back and ask myself what I can do in a day before I lose all this free time. Is there something I wish I could’ve done during the last three months that I can maybe start tomorrow? But it dawns on me that there is no point in dwelling on “could haves” and “should haves” because time only moves forward and it won’t stop for me now.
Instead, we should look back only for 2 reasons: to learn from experiences and to look for last days – the last day we’ve spent in our hometowns, the last time we’ve spoken to that good friend from high school, the last time we’ve started on a novel.
And then we look ahead, because these “last days” don’t have to be last days at all. We can always set them in the future. With the exception of death, we choose when our last days will be. Of course, our circumstances make things difficult but we always have some degree of control. We can always choose a future last day or last time for anything we value.
But as I said, today, like many other days, is a last day. For now, it’s the last day of unemployment, but will it be my last day of writing? Will be my last day working on Whitecaps? Will it be the last day of spending time with the people most dear to me? Will it be the last day that I build on all the passions I wish to cultivate? I hope not, but that’s all on me to decide, not any circumstance nor the “universe.” I pick my last day.
Cover photo taken by: Markus Spiske