Solo rides

There are limits to everything, even my introversion.

Everyday I take my backpack down to the basement parking lot of our building. The air is thick down in Level B3, so I usually rush to the car from the elevator. As I enter, my backpack goes on the passenger seat and the contents are put in their places: the water jug on the floor, my work tablet on the seat ride by the bag, and another tablet which I use solely for podcasts and music is plugged into the car audio. I usually pick a podcast episode from last night’s download, the intro plays and that marks the start of work.

Most days, we don’t report to the office. The streets are our offices, the carseat is our cubicle. As an introvert in a highly extroverted line of work, it’s great to have this space for myself. The tint is dark, the air-conditioning is cool, and I’m shielded from the interations of the outside. Speaking to at least fifteen different outlets on a daily basis can get pretty draining. I can only take so many social interactions in a day before physically crashing.

However, while this job tests the limit of my extroversion, it does the exact same to my introversion. Aside from a few messages on Viber, a few meetings with the team, and some visits to the office, it’s just me and my podcasts. Yes, I talk to countless people on a daily basis but the consistency is all off. Everyday presents a different set of people, some of which you see only once a month, nothing quite deep enough to satisfy my social cravings. I sometimes ask myself, does it really get this lonely or am I purposefully avoiding people?

I used to not believe in work-life balance. If you love what you do, then working meets all the requirements that constitute “living” in the best sense of the word. But I guess even that is something we have to work towards. That being passionate about doing anything is more than just enjoying and finding meaning in what you do, it also involves a certain amount of demanding work and a significant amount of patience to get there.

And at this point, finding work-life balance (work being separate from life) is still necessary for me. This also means that making time for my introvert needs, like disappearing from the world to get lost in a book or film and looking for deep and meaningful conversations outside of the everyday solo rides, is going to require a lot of effort from me as well.