What’s holding you back? Whose judgment are you afraid of? What’s stopping you from doing what you’ve always wanted to? If you’re an overthinker, you’ve probably ended up with one or all of these questions sometime during one of your thinking sessions.
We can point to all directions and at all the reasons we can conjure up to answer them, I know I have. But three fingers still point right back at us. I’ve done a lot of thinking lately (of course…) about my fear of the future, my current state of feeling stuck and suffocated, and the should’ves and could’ves of the past. I feel trapped in my own mind, while constantly looking outside for answers. I couldn’t find any.
But maybe there is none, at least from the outside. Maybe, we place responsibility on the external when there’s really no one and nothing to blame or depend on but our selves. This is what John Mayer, in his little monologue before playing Who Says, calls the “inner bully.”
Who says I can’t be free
From all of the things that I used to be
Rewrite my history
Who says I can’t be free
I found this live version of the song recently and it’s become my reminder to silence the inner turmoil when I feel fear. When I start being afraid of a certain change, when I freeze in fear at the blank page just before writing, or when I choke at the thought that it may not get any better than this, I go back to this song.
Who says I can’t take time
Meet all the girls in the county line
Wait on fate to send a sign
Who says I can’t take time
Who says? Most of the time, we do. And if you’re like me, we do, a lot. Because as soon as we allow the external in, that’s on us, we’re in charge. What were once pieces of advice from other people are now part of our thoughts.
“What will people think?”
“This isn’t how it’s usually done. Am I wrong?”
“I should better by now but I’m not, is there something wrong with me?”
But it’s not always a bad thing. Many times, we need to listen to other people. But of all the voices that we have allowed into our minds, we have to know which ones to listen to. For the decisions that haunt us right before we fall asleep, I think it’s important to ask ourselves, who says? Is this wisdom talking or is it insecurity? Is this epiphany or impatience? Insight or impulse? Negotiate with that inner bully.
Who says I can’t get stoned
Plan a trip to Japan alone
Doesn’t matter if I even go
Who says I can’t get stoned
And once you’ve chosen a voice to listen to, and you’ve done what it’s told you to do, don’t apologize for it. You never needed anyone’s permission except your own anyway. Who says? It’s just you, your thoughts, and your actions.