If you’ve ever been to a drinking session, then you would’ve heard the phrase “one for the road” at least once. More than a phrase, it’s used as a tool to lure the people in the table to take one more bottle before the session ends.
It’s a plea to extend an otherwise memorable moment. Really, what it means is: “I don’t want this night to end, just yet. So stay for one more beer.” As an especially sentimental person, it’s one of my favorite phrases to hear at the end of the night.
We have equivalent practices for other occasions, such as having one last big party before leaving for another country, or watching one last episode before going to bed, or walking someone home instead of taking a cab. These are all symptoms of our yearning for great moments. We stretch them for as long as we can, but it seems we only realize this at the very last minute, when we could’ve been more present from the very beginning.
Tim Urban gave a wonderful talk about procrastination. Although 90% of the talk was about procrastinating on things with deadlines, the punchline was really about procrastinating on things without any deadlines. You see, as Urban explains, procrastination, though not ideal (and we all do it), still works because there is a deadline that triggers a panic. We get things done, eventually. Papers are passed and presentations are delivered, because we didn’t sleep the night before. Bottomline is, it still gets the job done.
Unfortunately, most essential things do not have deadlines. No deadline means no panic. No panic means no job done. For instance, the time we put into starting a business or hobby, there is no deadline set for this. Or the time we spend with family and friends, there is no way to preempt when the last time for these will be, at least not for certain. And when we ask for that one last time, that “one for the road,” it might be too late.
So I write this as a reminder, for me and for anyone who needs to hear it. Most things are ordinary. But moments are rare, and moments are created. For the most part, a “one for the road” is not an indication that a moment just occurred. Rather, it is a declaration that a moment has just been created. Let’s keep creating.