So you’ve got an idea, or a plan, or a project in mind.
In your eyes, it’s a great idea. But you’re not sure whether to keep it to yourself or to share it with your family or friends. Validate it, maybe? Ask for a second opinion? Just let it sit in your head?
I’ve found myself in this situation so many times in the past that at this point, I’m convinced I should’ve already figured it out by now. The thing is, I’ve tried it both ways, and I’m sure you have, too. However, the results have always been inconclusive.
Keeping it to yourself doesn’t always work. It lacks the external accountability that we sometimes need. Sharing it with others doesn’t always work either. External opinions might be less helpful than you had imagined. There are so many factors to consider.
About a week ago, rapper J. Cole was a guest on Kevin Durant’s podcast. At around the 32-minute mark, he shares his own experience with letting people in on his ideas. He was asked: “How was your team, your family supportive of you waking up in your mid-30s going, ‘yo, I’m about to play professional basketball.’?”
His answer is transcribed below, but you may want to listen to it yourself (start at 31:53):
“Everybody knows I’m crazy. They’ve all seen me set ridiculous goals, quietly… and I might let you in on ’em. When they found out about it, I’ve already been plotting on it for years. And they know if I said it, like… ‘oh this n**** might really fuck around and do it.'”
“In my mind it’s like, I’m only telling you ’cause you’re close to me. If you’re not close to me, I wouldn’t share it with you. I gotta protect my dream. I gotta protect my goal. So in order for me to let you in on this, I have to have super trust.”
And sometimes, I can’t even offer that to the people I love the most yet, ’cause the dream is so far-fetched that I can’t offer it up yet. You might handle it with care but the fact that you might not… like, I couldn’t tell my own mom that I was really serious about this music shit. I couldn’t tell her because if I would’ve told her too early […], if she knew what I really planned on doing after my senior year, she might not have [been as supportive], and it’s not like she’s a bad person, it’s because she might have said something so small and so slight, like “oh, are you sure you want to do that?” It might have been just the smallest thing, to plant a seed in my mind that then grows over time and just starts growing doubt”
“With a dream, like the music or with the basketball, I just gotta keep that shit closely guarded, and then when I feel comfortable enough, even with the ones I love, then it’s like, I let it out. And 10 times out of 10, the person I let it out to, when it’s time to let it out… they water it. They water that seed. They recognize how crazy it is, but it’s like… ‘alright.'”
I guess the question then isn’t “Should I share this idea with someone else?” Rather:
Was this idea planted by me and not by someone else?
Is this seed planted safely and deeply enough in my head?
Is it ready to be watered?