Best man speech for Miles and Aoife’s wedding, January 8, 2023.
Good evening, everyone!
My name is Kevinn, for those who don’t know, I am Miles and Aoife’s self-proclaimed third wheel.
The great thing about spending a lot of time with a couple like Miles and Aoife is that you learn a lot. You learn a lot about love and about what a healthy modern relationship looks like. So to celebrate this beautiful marriage, I wrote down some of the things I’ve learned from them so far. Please allow me to read it for everyone here today.
This one is entitled: #AoifeCouldWalkAThousandMiles: Lessons from a Third Wheel
Lesson No. 1: Sometimes, 1+1=3
They say that a healthy relationship is one that adds to your life. It’s one that lifts you up. It’s one where you enter it whole and full but are made fuller because of it.
When I think of Miles and Aoife, I think of this. Two great, whole people on their own. But together, they just make each other greater. 1+1=3. For example:
When we were growing up as kids, we’d usually meet at the mall on the weekends, usually at SM City. The whole group would agree to meet at 11 AM. By 12 noon, Aoife would text to tell us she was on her way. And by 2 PM, she’d finally arrive. But that was the past. Now that Miles is driving, she’s almost never late. 1+1=3.
Another example: every time we’d travel somewhere with a big group of friends, we’d usually share a room or an Airbnb and normally, we would share beds. In many if these trips, I would share a bed with Miles. And here’s the thing about sharing a bed with miles… *to Miles* Bro, I love you but I do not love your snoring. But that’s the past. Now, thank God for Aoife for taking one for the team. I don’t know how you get any sleep. But thank you. 1+1=3.
When you think of Miles and Aoife separately, you notice that they each have this energy. Miles has it. Aoife has it. You can feel it and sometimes you can even see it. But when they’re together, these powerful energies don’t explode into each other, instead blend into each other and produce calmness and peace. They ground each other. And as someone who’s on the outside of that looking in, it’s just a beautiful thing to be witness to. 1+1=3.
Lesson No. 2: Friendship
I met Miles when we were about 3 or 4 years old in preschool. In Kinder 1, he invited me to go to their house for the first time. I remember riding their brown Starex, with the seats facing each other. Across me is Nang Susan on the left and Miles on the right. And that’s really where our friendship started.
Miles always treated me like a little brother. He looked out for me like a little brother. As we grew older, he began inviting more and more people to play at their house and it became this weekly Saturday thing. PS2 in the morning, basketball in the afternoon, pancit canton chilimansi merienda. And he’d treat everyone the same way, like a brother or a sister. I’ve never met anyone as nonjudgmental and selfless as Miles.
And surely, you can say the same for Aoife. You’d be lying if you said Aoife wasn’t a good friend to you. In the recent years, on the days when I’d feel most isolated, it was Aoife’s messages in Messenger forcing me to come out for dinner or drinks that really saved me on those tough days.
So what’s the lesson here? They say you should marry your best friend. I think we’ve all heard this advice before. But I think Miles and Aoife went beyond this. They didn’t just marry their best friends, they both married someone who’s so generous with their time, so giving of themselves, so kind and caring to their friends. They both married someone who’s a good friend not just to each other, but a good friend, period.
Lesson No. 3: (this is the last one, and it’s my favorite one) Have faith in fate
When it comes to relationship advice, Miles and Aoife are some of my favorite people to talk to. Maybe because they have a kind of healthy relationship that I would want for myself. The other day, I was looking through my old conversations with them and I was embarrassed at how much they put up with all my clownery and my being marupok. But as I was scrolling through, I recall a piece of advice from Miles that stuck with me. During a really difficult time, he said: Don’t force it. If it’s meant to be, it will be.
As he said this, I realize almost immediately that this was coming from experience. Because this is the Miles and Aoife story. From meeting in preschool, to growing up together in grade school, to keeping in touch in high school while Miles was in Australia, to losing touch after moving to different countries in college, to coming back home after college, to our friend Riz pushing Miles to reconnect with Aoife while they were both in Iloilo…. If it’s meant to be, it will be.
I’m reminded of one of my all time favorite quotes from the author Milan Kundera. In his novel The Unbearable Lightness of Being, he writes: “Is not an event in fact more significant and noteworthy the greater the number of fortuities necessary to bring it about? Chance and chance alone has a message for us. Everything that occurs out of necessity, everything expected, repeated day in and day out, is mute. Only chance can speak to us.”
The more obstacles, fortuities, and unforeseen events that occur, the more rare, valuable, and even miraculous something becomes. The more improbable something is, the more fate has to work to make it happen. And I think fate worked really hard and pulled all the stops for Miles and Aoife. The fact that we’re all here sharing this moment is a testament to that.
So I guess Miles was right. Only chance can speak to us, so have faith in fate. If it is meant to be, it will be. And for our bride and groom, it certainly has been.
And I’m just excited to see where this trip leads you both. I know I say I’m your third wheel but if you look around tonight, there are a lot of wheels on this beach. And we all love you guys dearly.
I’d like to invite everyone to raise their glasses. A toast: To love, friendship, and fate, to Miles and Aoife, cheers!