The Across the Spider-verse hype from two weeks ago is finally wearing off, so it’s time to unload some thoughts. Alright, let’s do this one last time.
I remember the first time I watched a movie on the big screen. It was Tobey Maguire’s Spider-Man (2002)—of course it was. Walking out of the theater after the movie, I was shooting imaginary spiderwebs out of my wrists, and swinging off of them on the way down the escalators. As far as six-year-old me was concerned, I was Spider-Man. The radioactive spider just hasn’t bitten me yet.
This may be why the Spider-verse movies hit me so hard. It’s that this is Miles Morales’ whole shtick—that it could be anyone behind that mask. Anyone can be Spider-Man. In fact, this was how it was intended by Stan Lee himself. In his own words to CBR:
“First of all, he’s a teenager. I think that helps kids to relate to him a great deal. Then, he’s got an interesting personality. He’s different when he’s Spider-Man than when he’s Peter Parker. He’s got a costume which is really terrific. I don’t know if you’ve thought of this, but the costume he wears covers him completely. You see no skin at all. Now, because of that, any youngster can imagine that he is Spider-Man.”
When I watch—and rewatch—the Spider-verse movies, I’m brought to tears every single time, and it’s always the same scenes that get me. Those tears, I’d like to think, aren’t just mine but also the six year-old inside of me swinging and weeping in joy. He feels heard.
Okay, maybe not everyone can be Spider-Man but I do sometimes think superpowers are real. For instance, my parents have a superpower, and I don’t mean that in an ‘every mom is wonder woman’ kind of way.
My parents have this ability to sort of control the rain. Okay that’s a bit misleading. What I mean is, the rain starts and/or stops for them. It stops when they’re about to leave a place and pours again after they’ve arrived their destination. This happens so often that my dad chooses to leave the umbrella despite the dark clouds floating closer from the distance. He trusts in his powers.
“That’s obviously just a coincidence,” I would think to myself. But having hung out with them enough times during the rainy season, I’ve become a believer. I just hope writing about it doesn’t take their powers away.
Sometimes I think I have superpowers, too. Every time I arrive at a meeting or a class or a gathering, and I arrive just in time, I would think to myself, “Yup, that’s my power. Perfect timing.” If not on time, I always seem to arrive at the most opportune moment.
When I miss the last train for the day, I walk to the bus stop and get there just in time for the first night train of the evening—I prefer the scenic bus views over the subway anyway. When I miss the dinner reservation by 5 minutes, I get an even better seat. When I’m the person who has to exit the elevator because we’ve exceeded the weight limit, another fresh, empty elevator reaches my floor.
I’m taken back to 15 years ago, when a fortune-teller came by my dad’s office for some inquiries. She waited outside by the couch where my mom and I were sitting. We spoke with her, and of course, she began talking about our family’s future. She talked about the two younger sisters I’m about to have, about our family moving houses sometime soon, about what I would grow up to become. So far, all of her prophecies have come true.
Towards the end of her prediction, she said one more thing that has stuck with me ever since. She pointed at me while telling my mom, “Swerte ng pamilya.” (He’s the luck of the family). That’s a crazy thing to say in front of an eleven year-old. And an even crazier thing to hear when you’re that gullible eleven year-old. When you’re pre-puberty and someone tells you that you’re walking good-luck charm, and everything else that that person has predicted has come true… only a handful of things in this world are more empowering.
Whether or not it’s true is besides the point. I think the believing part is up to me. Either way, holding on to that fortune has, in many ways, helped me trust in fate more. Admittedly, it’s not always easy, but it gets easier when I believe that things will always work out, that things always even out in time, when I believe in this “swerte.”
“It’s a leap of faith. That’s all it is,” says Peter B. Parker. Sums up a huge chunk of what this whole life is—believing in what is yet to come, trusting that all the effort leads somewhere. Our 6 year-old selves had this superpower. They were fearless, and they believed without holding back. Of course, they were also oblivious to the pains of life that come with growing older, but that may be where their wisdom lies.
It isn’t lost on me that believing doesn’t solve everything. Heck, it barely ever solves anything on its own. But I think it’s a prerequisite to any superpower, real or imaginary. Perfect timing only exists if we believe in that kind of luck. Rain-control only happens when we believe enough to notice it when it does.
Belief is paradoxical though. While most people say “I’ll believe it when I see it,” most times, it works the opposite way. The jump precedes everything else. We have to believe first, only then are we able to see. Motivation works the same way. There’s no point waiting for it to arrive before starting—it usually doesn’t. Starting precedes its arrival.
I’m also aware of the placebo effect. Maybe the prediction was just this big placebo for my life. But the thing about placebos is that, as author Seth Godin points out, they work. Regardless of the cause, placebo or not, the effect is the desired one.
It’s that Dumbledore quote: “Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean it is not real?” In a similar way, sure, believing may just be a technicality, but if it works, then I’m here for it. No need for tall buildings to swing off of, I’m perfectly fine with simply noticing the silent gifts in life’s daily accidents.